I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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