its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
