so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
