His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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