What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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