erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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