They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize