organizing the empties. That sober.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize