I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
