glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
