Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
