Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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