I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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