It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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