Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
