So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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