Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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