i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
