Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
