dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it