it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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