that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."