i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
