His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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