wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize