I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
