Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
