how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
