My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
