Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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