Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
