I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
