does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
the room spins SO much faster in panama
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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