i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
