New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
