Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize