This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
