I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
