Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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