hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
