I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
