One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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