i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
