I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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