If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
false alarm. still invincible.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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