I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
smell my finger.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
