Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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