hotel room ftw
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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