It's Friday. Sex?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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