I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
