I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I think my moral compass just broke
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
