the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
