Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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