why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
