They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Success! We fucked roommates!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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