it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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