Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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