i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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