Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
