you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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