I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
