i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
