dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Randomize
